I decided that today was my last day to pump at work.
I sat for a quiet moment in the pumping room and looked at the baby photos tacked onto the bulletin board - including 2 of Larkin as a teeny, tiny newborn - and I was sad.
I knew this day was coming, and I knew I would be emotional about the fact that Larkin is growing up and things are changing and life is moving on.
All of those are good things, I know that.
But my sadness was much deeper and more profound than I anticipated. Pumping has been a priority around which I have built my entire schedule, 5 days a week, for 7 and a half months.
It has been a hassle sometimes and often inconvenient and definitely stressful - but it also has been the most important thing I could do as a mother between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5:30 p.m. every day.
I know the sadness will go away, and in its place I'm certain I will feel relief that my time during the day is mine again and satisfaction that I did it as long as I did.
Hi there,
I'm a friend of Lisa's and I have been reading your blog for months now. My son was born a day before your daughter, and I have found that many of their milestones have been reached around the very same time. Reading this post made me sad, and I can totally empathize. I am still pumping twice a day at work, and nursing Owen at lunchtime, but I am producing so little these days that I know my time will be up soon. My goal is to make it to 1 year, and then stop the pumping...but hopefully keeping up nursing in the morning and evening. But I don't know if that will work out considering I am producing so little as it is. I am heartbroken at the thought of stopping, and I can totally feel your pain. They just grow up so fast and it feels like they will need us less and less as time goes on. Anyway, just wanted to let you know you aren't alone in your sadness :)
Lauren said...
June 20, 2009 at 2:01 PM
Having made it a year, I can tell you that I was not sad to stop! I was ready... but stopping the morning and evening feedings was hard. It's such a commitment; phyically, emotionally, mentally. You've done an amazing job!
Amber said...
June 23, 2009 at 4:56 PM